Apparently, the main point of being an influencer is to boost sales of particular products or services. Many influencers have become stinking rich in this social-mediaed, smartphoned western world. They are courted by profit-hungry businesses, forging mutually beneficial relationships.
With all of this in mind, I have taken the decision to become an influencer myself. However, rather than taking the usual social media path, filled with persuasive hints and cunning imagery, I have decided that my style of influencing will be somewhat different.
As an influencer, I will be rather like a mafia godfather. Some will perhaps come to see me as an intimidator rather than an influencer.
I will employ gangs of thuggish young men who will appear at your door to promote the week's highlighted product or service. And if you say you are not buying you will be thrown to the floor in a judo-style move with your arm thrust up your back. Let me tell you, you'll soon change your mind and make the required purchase.
Here online and within the dark web, I may decide to uncover your most zealously guarded secrets and use that knowledge to drain your savings. And if you try to report me to the police, I will simply switch identities. Yorkshire Pudding will become Bakewell Pudding or Steak and Kidney Pudding or Chocolate Pudding. The alternatives are endless.
I must say, I am looking forward to starting my second and much more lucrative career as an influencer. In fact, I have already received a commission from "Bonkers" chocolate biscuits, sales of which are bound to shoot up like bamboo shoots in Mrs Moon's sub-tropical garden or the beanstalk that young Jack grew.
from Yorkshire Pudding https://ift.tt/QByCNvO
