Blissfully unaware
Of the blessings
Until I’m shown
That those
Are what make
Life worth
Every tear
Savor
Five letters
That have
Taken on
A new meaning
Entirely
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Platitudes
We hear platitudes all the time. They are what many people resort to when they cannot come up with an original and worthwhile remark. In this post I shall share ten common platitudes with my own rather anarchic comments attached.
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"Today is the first day of the rest of your life" Well if that truly is the case what was last Friday? And what will tomorrow be? I don't get it. It sounds like it is from the same bag of trite nonsense as "Live each day as if it was your last". Does that mean that every day I have to order the most expensive takeaway curry I can afford? Ridiculous!
"Time is a great healer" Well, I had my front teeth knocked out when I was playing cricket in 1967. 56 years later they have not grown back so how much longer must I wait for time to do its healing?
"Love means never having to say you're sorry" By accident I peed on the toilet seat and forgot to clean it up after washing my hands. When my wife grumbled about this I reminded her of the trite saying. No I didn't! In reality, saying you're sorry to someone you love is very commendable.
"There's no 'i' in 'team'" Okay that might be true but there are two 'i's' in "intelligence" and two in "ingenuity" and one of the words with the greatest number of 'i's' is "indivisibility" with six . Some species of spider have eight eyes.
"Tomorrow is another day" No way José ! I thought that tomorrow was in fact today! Are you sure that it's another day? How can we prove your outlandish assertion? Perhaps I will stay up all night to check your theory and buy a newspaper in the morning to doublecheck the date.
"With all due respect" In reality this means - with zero respect. I have not been listening to anything you said and now you must listen to me because my point of view is always spot on so yeah, shut up and listen you numbskull!
"What goes around comes around" That is truly amazing but I once had that very sensation when riding on a roundabout (American: carousel) at a fairground. I was, I believe, riding on a painted wooden horse called Dobbin. Also I think of this very planet. Did you know that it it spins right round every twenty four hours - it goes around and it comes around. Far out!
"God moves in mysterious ways" In other words we have no idea what God is up to - if indeed he even exists. Random stuff happens. People die. Rivers flood. The Kardashians appear on TV. Who are we to second guess God's seemingly chaotic master plan. Never heard of blind faith?
"You can be anything that you want to be" Okay then - I want to be the President of the USA - replacing the faltering but kindly old man who currently occupies that position while fending off the big-headed oaf in the red cap. Trouble is I can't because I wasn't born in America and that law is not going to change any time soon. Similarly, I suspect that local man Howard who was a victim of the thalidomide scandal is never going play the Celtic harp or conduct The London Symphony Orchestra.
"It's the thought that counts" Yup! That's why I reused a greeting card on the occasion of Uncle Eddie's birthday - just scribbled out the sender's name and wrote my own name instead. And for Christmas I gave Auntie Eileen a knitted sweater that I suspected would be far too small for her and it certainly was but it's the thought that counts!
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Thanks
Sending a little love
A lot of thanks
For all of you
Who give me
Love so abundantly
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