R's rue

from Going Gently https://ift.tt/3vP7FUH

“ Are you having a sale? “ Mrs Trellis asked over the garden wall, her watery blue eyes were twinkling She pointed to the small yellow arm chair and the living room rug  which sat sunbathing on the lawn. She was the third person to make such a joke this morning Indeed, one Walker asked if I was selling the chair which she said was “ Ever so cute” I’ve placed cushions and throws all about the garden on bushes and walls. There is nothing better for a doggy household to deodorise things than to place them in full sun I’m spring cleaning today. No theatre, no friends, no cinema , just carpet cleaning, proper hot water washes on the paintwork and five loads in the washing machine. I find cleaning very therapeutic , which is all well and good when you share an 17th Century cottage with 2 dogs, a cat and a log burner. Of course having a new dyson hoover and carpet cleaner help, and I’m such a sad bastard that I always “ look” at the amount of vacuumed detritus whenever I’ve gi...

 As the rain falls I let myself  Go back To sleep And  Not have To count Sheep from R's rue https://ift.tt/3gS5Tgj

Who needs an electric burglar alarm when you can instead employ a garden gnome?  Our home has been protected for several years by an eight inch gnome called Lars. He arrived from Liechtenstein one September morning in 2009. There was a tiny tapping on our front door and I opened it to find no one there until I looked down and there was Lars with his spade. He was looking for work. Nowadays, he stands close to the front door which is where he has been  for eleven and a half years night and day. He has successfully deterred all intruders. Lars doesn't ask for much - an occasional "Malteser" on top of his regular gnome food* and a couple of thimbles of Tetley's bitter on a Saturday night. Last week, I noticed that Lars's colours had more or less faded away. He was bleached by the sun and looked like a very small snowman so I decided to get out my oil paints to spruce him up. He was perfectly patient as I applied the paint. After forty minutes he was as good as ...