Hooverphobia
The Emperor Fountain, Chatsworth House * In the entire history of humanity has a more annoying invention than the vacuum cleaner ever been unleashed upon the world? In Great Britain, we have called them "Hoovers" for decades even when referring to vacuum cleaners produced by other, equally annoying companies. I associate the "Hoover" brand with instruments of torture and psychological injury. I realise that my detestation of vacuum cleaners is probably illogical but I just cannot help it. When a vacuum cleaner is noisily sucking away at nearby floor surfaces, my blood pressure rises like The Emperor Fountain at Chatsworth House. Some time in the late 1950s or early 60s, my mother bought an upright "Hoover" in a military livery of dark blue and light grey. It had a fabric bag at the back in which the machine's bulging paper stomach was concealed. Every so often this had to be emptied or replaced. I can picture my mother now - plugging that suc...