Fly
Meet Ralph. He's a fly. On Tuesday evening he landed on Vice President Mike Pence's snowy head during his televised debate with Kamala Harris. Training Ralph was no mean feat I can tell you. Having him transported to the debate venue in Salt Lake City, Utah was also very challenging. Please don't tell anybody else but I used a carrier called Helen Schultz who I discovered online. She is a student at The University of Utah majoring in Librarianship. She was a member of the invited audience and Ralph secretly accessed Kingsbury Hall in Helen's mop of curly red hair. Security did not think to check there. At the assigned moment, Ralph flew bravely into the glare of the television lights and made a perfect touchdown on Mr Pence's head. It was reminiscent of July 20th 1969. As instructed, Ralph stayed on Mr Pence's head for exactly two minutes and fifteen seconds. There is no truth in the rumour that Ralph defecated on the snow white orb during his mission. ...