Sisters

Margot was born in November 2023 and Phoebe was born in January 2021. These little girls have enriched my life more than words can say. Only a few days ago, I said to their father, Stewart, that I can no longer imagine a world without Phoebe and Margot in it. We are so lucky that they live just nine minutes walk away. In addition, we are privileged to be able to play a key role in their care and upbringing. Not all grandparents get to do that.

Of course, down in London, our only grandson - Zachary continues to develop. We hope to go down south to see him this month. Apparently, he is ahead of the game with his mobility and can even crawl upstairs. I see smartphone pictures of him and short videos too. It is sad that we cannot play a larger part in his upbringing. But that's just how it is. At least he is not in some faraway country like Australia or Canada.

Margot loves to be picked up and cuddled but you need to be wary of her paws for she often threatens to rip one's face off. Her chubby little fingers dig in and if she can get them in one's mouth - all the better. Similarly, Phoebe has a forceful personality and a rare ability to get what she wants. 

See the image above. Phoebe refused to sit there when asked to do so by her mama but when I promised to give her a piece of chocolate she was up there on the sofa like a squirrel up a tree.

One of her top questions is "Please may I watch something?" She loves to see "Bluey", "Peppa Pig", "Hey Duggee" and "Trotro" and once she is in front of a screen she can become very reluctant to be parted from it. I look back to when I was a small child and my family didn't even have a television set. There was no screen time at all. I have no idea what extended screen time does to small children - how it affects them in the long run. But what I do know is that it's not Phoebe's fault that those shows I mentioned even exist. In this regard, it is not easy to know what's best.

Assuming that there are no tragedies along the way, Phoebe and Margot will be sisters until they are old ladies. I hope they will always be there for each other, keeping in touch, riding the roller-coaster of life. Sibling love can be very special as the years pass by. Friends may come and go but you can never quite shake off a sibling relationship. It never goes away - not even if you might sometimes feel that you  want to terminate it.


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Stretching

 As I was stretching this morning, i came to a few conclusions. My mind and body are not where I’d like them to be. My mind and body needing watering and pruning daily. Missing a day is not optional. I’ve striving too much for an answer. Would I like God to just deliver like Domino’s Pizza. I sure would. It doesn’t happen that way. What if there was a satisfaction guarantee for those who wait. My therapist suggested that instead of worrying about what I write, just write. Write because it makes you happy. Write because the frustration has somewhere to go. Write because it’s what you do. 

The point is to have fun. Even if the finished product is crappy. The fact is you didn’t delete your thoughts. You let them stand. It is proof that what is shared is your heart. Raw and unfiltered. You’re job as a writer isn’t to paint a picture full of rosy fluff, but truth that isn’t crude or rude. It’s as honest as you can be without revealing your innermost fears. The ones you share with God and me. 

I need you to see that glass houses can only shield us for so long. The lies we tell ourselves will shatter faster than the cup that slips from fingertips. Growth is that acknowledging that acceptance is a daily activity. Acceptance isn’t a permanent gift, but a daily practice that is practiced daily. Acceptance isn’t finding or placing blame. It’s a learning curve. 

Life is not mastered or something to be mastered. Life isn’t a game to win. Life is what it is. It is a process of gratitude for opening eyeballs to start the journey once again. 

So honestly, I’m writing right now to keep putting words to paper, and let them sit there. Whether I like what I’ve written. Writing to restore joy to creating what is in this hard head. 



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