Surprise!

Kill! Kill!

Ho-ho, I had you all fooled yesterday didn't I?  I realise that this will come as a disappointment to a handful of readers but I was not trampled to death by a herd of frisky Jersey cows. I am alive and well, rejoicing in the happy news  that my football team, Hull City, have just been promoted to the English Championship following today's magnificent victory at Lincoln City.

However, it could have all been so different. 

I had parked Clint on Sunderland Street, Tickhill close to "The Scarborough Arms" pub before setting off on a seven  mile country walk under another  blue sky. No need for a jacket or sweater.

When I reached Stancil Farm, I noticed that the public footpath bisected a large cattle pasture. The herd of young Jerseys was down in the bottom corner close to The River Torne but when I was half way across the field they spotted me and headed in my direction.

Of course there was no aggression but they were investigating me with their muzzles and no matter how  much "Yaah-ing" I did along with windmill waving of my arms, they would not retreat. They surrounded me as I headed, hopefully, towards the stile which led through a hawthorn hedge to safety. Perhaps they thought I was a farmhand bringing food supplements.

New Amazon distribution centre at Rossington

I was very aware that if I had tripped up and fallen to the ground they might well have accidentally trampled me in their panic.

Normally, when I walk through cow fields, the cattle will look up with lazy indifference before returning peacefully  to their endless grass munching. That was not the case yesterday. I tell you, it was such a relief to reach that wooden stile and climb over into the next field.

Wellingley

I took a deep breath and continued with my circular walk. A brand new Amazon distribution centre has been built on the site of what was once Rossington Colliery. I also walked by the tiny hamlet of Wellesley and along  the curiously named Billy Wright's Lane before heading back to Tickhill.

"The Scarborough Arms"  was open for outdoor drinkers so I treated myself to a pint of bitter shandy with a bag of plain crisps. This was the first time I have visited a pub since November 4th last year. It was an agreeable experience but then Clint started honking his horn so I knew it was time to head home.

The 15th Century Parish Room in Tickhill

from Yorkshire Pudding https://ift.tt/3erdBN7

Oh Yes

                                         

    When in doubt, TWIRL YOUR EFFIN’ ARSE OFF!

 

from Going Gently https://ift.tt/3aDpZID

The Prone Trolley

 When I worked In Sheffield’s Spinal Injury unit, the occasional patient would have been able to mobilise out of bed by using the Prone Trolley.

These patients were usually ones with older spinal injuries but with new, more acute skin problems or pressure sores on their bottoms and sacrum. 

The prone trolley was in fact an adapted theatre trolley , which the patient could like face down upon, usually with strategically placed pillows supporting hips , sternum and feet. 

The patient would move the trolley with his arms, which would propel the front wheels, allowing him or her the freedom to navigate the Spinal unit, and at the same time no pressure would be exerted on the more vulnerable sore bits , allowing them to heal naturally .

These patients would generally be covered with a light sheet , below which they would be naked and paralysed .

One patient I remember who used the trolley was a bit of a wag , I shall call Norman

Now Norman was in his thirties, and it would be fair to describe him as a bit of a joker and a wide boy. He would spend his time with the newly injured and sometimes more sensitive patients on bed rest and was one to joke around and play tricks on them and the nursing staff , who put up with his antics with uncharacteristic thin lips.

I remember one day when Normal pushed himself onto the balcony garden of my ward, he entered into some ribald joshing with several of the patients on bed rest. Unbeknownst to the staff, a couple of the patients had clubbed together and with the help of a visitor turned the tables on poor Norman and an hour after he came he announced to the staff sitting at the nursing station that he was returning to his own ward for tea. 

The staff said nothing as he wheeled himself past the nursing station and allowed him to pass my office which was at the end of the corridor without further comment.

As Norman wheeled himself merrily part he shouted out a greeting which I answered 

And I turned to watch him pass I saw that his fellow patients had secretly removed his sheet  allowing the world to see a large expanse of buttock with two large capital W s drawn in lipstick on each cheek.

And placed very carefully between the butt cheek itself was a hastily picked daffodil, standing proud, yellow and very tall.

from Going Gently https://ift.tt/3aC6Pmy