Sounds

The hollow cooing of pigeons on a chimney pot. In the middle of the school week, the animated conjoined noise of  children's voices in a  playground half a mile away drifts up the hill. On a still night down in the valley, the clackety drumming of occasional trains heading north or south - muted by a mile of  distance.

The humming of bathroom fans before their timers mute them. Similarly, the churning and spinning of our washing machine and the gurgling of the dishwasher before it bleeps three times like a heart monitor by a hospital bed.

Occasionally when Atlantic winds surge over this island, you hear slates straining on our roof and the creaking of rafters, whistling windows and a kinetic roaring that falls and rises in gusts. Best heard at night.

These are our familiar sounds but sometimes I miss the sound of the sea. Waves grumbling on a barrier reef or bursting on sands . Chattering over pebbles, sucking at rocky promontories. And when swimming I hear the water's mellifluous lapping  as I push it away - rhythmically moving  over the deep.

And perchance in my dreams I hear familiar human voices from the past in the echo chamber of my skull.  Never to be heard with my ears again. And I hear curlews and sheep and tropical birds and the acclamation of football supporters in a stadium - rumbling.

Music to lift you, reflect your experience, entertain you so that sometimes you lost yourself in it.

And in silence I hear my own pulse, insistent, beating. The internal sound of blood and indeed life itself. How many beats in a day? How many beats in a lifetime? Duh-duh, duh-duh. duh-duh, duh-duh but not forever. Only for a while.



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Quiet Time

 Sometimes it’s nice to be away from the dogs.
Life is like a permanent kindergarten visit when they are always about.
Constant neediness, noise, motion and squabbles.
And of course, those are the very reasons I have them,
But just occasionally they can be exhausting and occasionally you have the need for silence 
Total silence without burbs, farts, itches and barks.

And I went to sit in the churchyard for a while
Where it was cold and quiet with only the chirp of hedge sparrows for company.
I wrote this blog in my head as I sat there. 
I’m having a grown up day today, which means that I’m going out to dinner with my friend Colin. 
It was his birthday a few days ago and he was fed up  at being alone on a work night, so I’m taking him out to dinner in Chester and will wear something ironed.

For the past few weeks have been exploring the knotty subject of self awareness in college and have been using the concept of the Johari Window in the look at self which is an interesting  if not a bit clumsy psychological  romp in itself. It’s always interesting to see yourself as others see you, especially when there is a real  I see moment to be had.
I’m not good in asking for things I want off people 
It’s a fear of rejection that takes precedence 
But I’m getting better at it
We are all a work in progress 




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Friday

 How are you today?

What is on your heart?

You are loved

Closed

Wanted

Needed



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