R's rue

It is exactly one year since my brother Simon died in Dove House Hospice, Hull. July 19th 2022 was the hottest day of the year in England but Simon was cool in the windowless Princess Diana Suite. He had been taken there by ambulance the previous Friday and whether or not it was caused naturally or by the administration of end-of-life medication, he very soon entered a nether state of apparent unconsciousness. Shirley and I saw him the following day and he was more or less unresponsive but when I tried to ply him with water, his lips moved and he bared his teeth. He seemed to want it. Before we left I stroked his hair as I softly sang, "Are you going to Scarborough Fair?" The following Tuesday, having never regained consciousness, he had gone off to Scarborough Fair. A lovely nurse phoned me and explained the minute details of his passing. It was so kind and her compassion and dedication came a-humming right down the telephone line. He had died in good hands. At death, S...

 Lord, It’s me. I’m here at your throne because when I feel I’ve reached self-sufficiency, You remind me that’s not the case. My need for help is evident. Honestly, I detest that fact. It’s no secret. I’ve not hidden my displeasure from view. It’s a matter of public record. Almost eleven years of blogging is here to be a visual time stamp. In eleven years, it’s the one thing that I’ve not gotten over. I despise asking for help. Asking for help is anxiety inducing. It’s a trigger point for me. In physical therapy, they’ve found that most of my upper left leg is central for trigger points. The tone there is immense. I don’t know how to explain tone with regards to Cerebral Palsy. Google was no help either. This is all to say mentally and physically I’m addressing what I swore I’d never do. Never say never. The truest words I’ve ever written. What I’m saying is that you will come to a point where the trigger becomes too big to ignore. Address it before it becomes the albatross. I lea...

 I get in  A mess When I internalize Tomorrow’s problem In today God guard My temper I about lost My marbles This morning from R's rue https://ift.tt/TjpvLC6