R's rue

In the course of my life I have been addicted to several things. Cocaine? Heroin? Uppers? Downers? No none of those  things. My addictions have been more mundane. Once I was addicted to cigarettes and smoked twenty to thirty a day but finally, in early 1988, I managed to chuck the habit for good simply by deciding to become a non-smoker. My determination was bigger and more powerful than the insidious effects of nicotine upon my brain. I have not smoked another cigarette since that January morning when I destroyed my last full pack of Benson & Hedges, breaking up the cancer sticks and watching the golden tobacco hidden within fall into our dustbin with the rest of the rubbish. And I was addicted to the British soap opera "EastEnders" from it's very first episode on February 19th  1985 until the summer of 2013. That's when I finally decided it was taking up too much of my life and the commitment was plainly ridiculous. I have never watched a single episode since th...

 I’m learning that life will keep knocking you down. My mind needs conditioning as much as my body. Maybe more. And for me, that’s a bold claim. For if you’ve been here any length of time you are aware of how much care this body of mine needs. Two years of physical decline with no answers have left my mind  grasping for straws. I don’t know how much time it will take the body to recover. And not knowing that has left my mind reeling. Frustration because who knows how long dreams and plans may be delayed. Who knows how long it take to return to my normal. My endurance and stamina are abysmal. And, I need that to return desperately. My body has been given a manual for improvement. The mind doesn’t work with manuals, I’ve tried. The mind is its own entity. You all tell me patience. He knows what I want. All of what I want. He knows what I don’t want. This is forced dependency on God. I know it’s best. When has humanity ever wanted what’s best for it. Or maybe you’re better humans...

 Lord Another day To be  Outwardly courageous  Inwardly strengthened Resolved to trust In a good Father That doesn’t change Even if  It would be Easier if  He did I don’t know If the battle Is with  Him or  My flesh Having to believe With all that I am That He  Doesn’t require Assistance from R's rue https://ift.tt/TFJ7MrA