A serious new health condition has been identified in America. It is known as TDS and there are fears that it might spread. Symptoms include the following:-
- obsessive notions of grandeur
- badly swollen ankles
- mysterious bruising on the back of the hands
- incontinence
- inability to speak truthfully
- lusting after one's daughter
- grifting (i.e. profiteering or swindling)
- obsessive interest in golf
- refusal to read important documents
- exaggeration
- obsessive interest in gilded decoration
- repetition of false claims without evidence
- extreme narcissism
- obesity
- total absence of a sense of humour
- vindictiveness
- inability to ever say "sorry" or admit any errors
- strange perfectionism in knotting neckties
- orange "oompa loompa" skin
There are several other symptoms too but these are the main ones. Fortunately, at present, there is only one known sufferer of the disease. He occasionally resides at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW in Washington D.C.. Oh by the way, in case you had not guessed, TDS stands for Trump Derangement Syndrome.
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