Monday love

 Happy Monday. It’s a good day because I’m alive, and grateful for all your love on my previous post. Somebody asked in the previous post that they’d need to know my medical history to understand why I wrote what I did. Let me tell you, if I understood it myself, maybe I’d share. The fact is, I don’t.  My doctors don’t. Right now, I don’t know how or why what happened happened if that makes sense. I can’t worry about the why right now. All I can focus on is repairing the damage. I’m under no illusion that I can recover it all. I’m just on a journey to rebuild what can be rebuilt. There is no toxic positivity here. I just have to remain hopeful. If my mind goes, so goes the body. And that is something that I’m in position to lose. 

I’m learning daily that my mind needs to be fed the same or better than my physical body right now.  I’m having to be boring. No travel for awhile. My body needs to be strengthened to a certain degree before everyone is comfortable with me leaving to go anywhere but to the doctor’s office. Reality can be a buzzkill. So right now, I vacillate between a dream and a reality I must face. 

Love you all



from R's rue https://ift.tt/Osiwhtd

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Easter

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Stewart prepared a special Easter Sunday dinner. The Lamb of God was on the menu with roasted potatoes, Yorkshire puddings, leeks, carrots, parsnips and peas. For dessert, Shirley had followed the vegan sticky toffee pudding recipe in the first "Bosh!" cook book  and all was good. Earlier there had been an Easter egg hunt for the little ones and then we all went off to a Sheffield museum that I had not visited in many years - The Emergency Services Museum at West Bar. Greatly improved and still run by volunteers, it was a perfect excursion for all of us and we finished up in the museum's little cafe enjoying a light lunch. We had seen police cars, ambulances, fire engines and even a redundant lifeboat called "City of Sheffield". We all enjoyed the visit. As you might imagine, I will be coming back to this museum in a future post. On the way there,  the roads had been blocked off near Sheffield Children's Hospital as 750 motorcyclists arrived at Weston P...
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Today

صورة
The view from Simon's back yard. It takes an hour and a half to travel to the village where I was born and raised. Today, Shirley came with me and saw my brother Simon for the first time since August 2019. As a nurse for more than forty years, she was not daunted by his changed appearance. With the cancer and everything he has become a bag of bones. So painfully thin - like a malnourished prisoner working on the Burma railway under Japanese supervision.  Wasting away. We stayed all afternoon.  Shirley had his washing machine on and we changed his bedding. I had bought a new fitted sheet, duvet cover and pillowcases from Tesco. Shirley said that his old bedding was "disgusting".  We brought tins of mushroom soup and cans of "Fanta" and "Coke" and some pots of chocolate mousse plus a couple of pints of milk. They were received with zero gratitude. In fact, he insisted that six cans of soup was far too many. I encouraged him to have a bath while...
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