Do I shit In The Woods?



I’m pricing up skips ( dumpsters to you Americans) 
The smallest is 75£ which I think is an Ok price.
I need to ask Trefor if I can park it in his drive for when the Bathroom guy comes on Tuesday but that may not be a wise move . Unattended skips tend to be filled by all and sundry especially when they are located somewhere you can’t keep an eye on them.
I do enough for charity me thinks.


The one question I’ve not asked Bathroom Man yet, is how long am I going to be without a toilet.
Now unlike most dwellings nowadays I have only one functioning toilet. Now if this was the 1970s this would be a perfectly reasonable state of affairs but in the glorious 2020s , there is an expectation on many levels which expects that one will have at least one en suite in your property.
I haven’t ……
So I threw the quandary  out to my fellow night workers
“Shit in a bucket” Steve suggested
“ And how does someone my size even sit on a bucket let alone shit in one ?” I said 
You could hover ?” Diane offered
I looked sceptical 
“ With my hips?”
“True” she agreed without laughing.
“ Borrow a commode from work? “ she added
“ I couldn’t get the legs in the car” I told her ( I had already measured them)

We bandied around various ideas from knocking on neighbours’ doors to squatting in my old field.
Suffice to say, I am very much a product of my time and the thought of not having a good sit down poo fills me with dread. 
I’ve even priced up a “ robust” camping toilet on Amazon. Which is a doable 28£ ! ( with toilet paper hanger) or the cheaper kamper Khazi which surprisingly doesn’t seem to have a weight limit

And one of the things on my bucket list is to go camping 

I must be mad 



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