Dichotomy

On Saturday night, just after ten o'clock, I drifted down to my local pub. It had been a hot day and I just fancied necking three or four pints of my favourite brew - Tetley's bitter.

Over the years, I have seen many barmen and barmaids come and go. Oftentimes they are university students seeking extra income to pay off loans or to fund travels or just to put food on their tables.

There's a nice lad working there just now. He is called Luke and he is from Liverpool. Whenever I have met him we have enjoyed what the Irish call a good "craic" together, happy in each other's company.

On Saturday he talked of his mother who is a hospital nurse and he explained her key philosophy with regard to other people.

"My mother says you meet two types of people. Drainers and Radiators. Drainers draw the lifeblood out of you and radiators leave you feeling lifted."

The notion resonated with me and perhaps it will do with you too. In my life, I have met many people who are naturally judgemental - seeking weak spots and loopholes in others. Digging away and maybe if you report something you have done or experienced they will leap on it, keen to outdo you with their own tales. They are the drainers.

Equally I have met many other  people who take you as they find you, listen to what you have to say and show interest with follow up questions that are not intended to bring  you down.  They are people who make you feel warm inside  and better about yourself. They are the radiators.

Which are you? A drainer or a radiator.?

To tell you the truth, when I reflected on this idea  as I was preparing Sunday's barbecue, it seemed to me that in reality most of us have our feet in both camps. Sometimes we might tend to boost other people and at other times we chip away at their foundations. 

The dichotomy is not as clear cut and rigid as Luke's mother might have suggested. Even so, as a social being, I thought it was an interesting way of looking at other people and there's probably a vein of wisdom in that particular cheese.  We seem to spend our entire lives trying to make sense of everything, especially the people who  enter our orbits.

" 'Drainers' are the people that absolutely suck the energy, drive and enthusiasm out of us, whilst the "radiators" bring joy, happiness, fulfilment and drive into our lives." - HuffPost (2016)

from Yorkshire Pudding https://ift.tt/4lTK6Yp