Doctor and what love is

Yesterday, I got my pump refilled. It wasn’t a pleasant experience, but it taught me something. God sometimes desires me to be uncomfortable so I can help others. I still, even after eleven years of publicly sharing my heart and baring my soul doubt. I still complain. My life would be easier with more dollars to my name, less bodily aches, more friends. I could have a hissy fit for days. Does the hissy fit change my problem. No. It just makes me mentally pained and physically exhausted. It’s taking a God-sized miracle every day not to worry. Not be fearful. Not to question. Not to doubt. At the appointment, I had to put my hesitation away to ease others. Did I want to?  Not really. In easing others’ fears, I eased my own. Being brave is a choice. When one of you called me a warrior for simply choosing to live life. I disagreed with you internally. Then, I realized, how wrong I was. Being selfless even in your own pain is a new thing for me. Or maybe just the outward acknowledgement of it. 
If you’re led, please pray for me. What you pray for me to have is for you to decide. Surprise me. Shack me. I no longer know what to pray for with my selfish desires coming into play. 
Love yourself and one another


from R's rue https://ift.tt/jkw82IO

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