Update
I still have to take a pain pill to sleep at night
I still cry
But
I’m slowly returning. Normal. I can’t say. I have to realize I’ve had two surgeries in two months. As well as I do physically, mentally I’m in the woods. Trying to get out each day, but I still can’t verbalize to the outside world my feelings. Besides you all only my best friend knows the depth of my pain. When people ask, I leave it that my body couldn’t handle bearing children.
I’d ask a favor. Please dont ask a person of faith why they wouldn’t sacrifice their bodies to birth a child. I can’t be fruitful and multiply. Physically it takes every ounce I have to take care of myself. I can’t question God on this anymore. I can’t take away CP. I can’t take away genetics. I can’t risk my life. You love me so well, but just a little thought.
from R's rue https://ift.tt/R78ibDE
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