God,
Trading fantasy for reality today. Reality isn’t so bad today. I woke up to a cool house filled with love. A home that you’ve given me to enjoy and set roots. A place with no neighbors for that I don’t see for a mile. I woke up to more food and drink in my kitchen. I woke up with choices. Isn’t that we all what in life. Savoring the simple. Savoring the blessing of listening to the slow beats of a slow Midland song.
Thinking of what I want to do today. Listen to church, find a good movie or take myself to St. Barths in my dreams. Choices. Got to love them. I sure do. I’m finding that reality is surpassing my dreams these days. Or I’m just finding new appreciation for all my blessings. Never thought it would happen. Never say never.
When you’re forced to slow your behind down, you have time to think, even if you don’t want it. And think I do. A little too much. Learning to be still is the biggest lesson I’m still coming to terms with every day. I take my cup of coffee, sip it slowly and revel in the hope that You answer prayers. I wonder when I’ll be able to wait with contentment until what You wish to grant me. I know you’re smoothing out some rough edges right now. There are some character defects You aren’t happy with at the moment. I know it. I don’t need to be reminded or maybe I do. You know so I cede my will to Yours. Letting go is harder than wanting the last bite of ice cream in the bucket.
Who knew I’d pick up some Blue Bell banana pudding ice cream hoping it’d taste like the real thing. I’ve been living in the South too long. Nothing beats homemade banana pudding made by the sweetest old ladies. Home is the place where slow is a benefit. Everyone knows my name. They ask how blogging is coming along, even if they don’t read it. I’m given grace. I’m given love. I’m given space to just be. Home is where the only expectation we have is the one we have of ourselves. Home is where the choice can be made to watch the grass grow, and pray for rain. Rain for the farmland. Rain for the animals to cool down. Rain to wash my sins away. Rain to dance in. Freedom in the rain. Freedom in the name. The name that saved my soul once. And keeps saving it daily.
Joy is good sleep. No pain. A cup of joe, and sweet Southern sunshine. When contentment is sought and found in the everyday, everyday becomes the dream. My younger self couldn’t have imagined how many dreams have become reality. My current self can’t believe it. I really am gobsmacked. Jesus made it happen for a lowly girl like me. Now as the woman I am, let my faith become that of a child. The child’s faith has no bounds. I now know my next mission. God doesn’t change. I did. With God, everything has a lesson to be learned. Never stop learning. Or be willing to learn
Love yourself and one another
R
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