Across this kingdom, countless families will settle down for their Christmas dinners on Monday afternoon. On almost every table there will be a Christmas cracker by every place setting.
Inside each cracker there will be a paper hat, a small novelty gift and a little piece of paper with a joke printed upon it.
There is a long tradition in Great Britain that Christmas cracker jokes should be very corny. They are not meant to elicit belly laughs. Instead they are supposed to make listeners groan or titter politely. Yes Christmas cracker jokes are rubbish and deliberately so.
Here are some more examples:-
- What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet!
- What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia!
- What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues!
- What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
- What happened to the thief who stole an advent calendar? He got 25 days!
- What does a snowman eat for breakfast? Snowflakes!
Surely such "jokes" cannot be terribly hard to make up can they? Anyway, I put my thinking cap on and came up with these three fresh Christmas cracker jokes...
- What do Eminem and Fifty Cent like best at Christmas time? Rapping paper!
- What is the source of our Christmas traditions? Cranberry!
- Why did eleven pipers piping arrive on the eleventh day of Christmas? To fix the plumbing after a heavy frost.
I am proud of the groanworthiness of these new jokes but I must warn any Christmas cracker manufacturers reading this blogpost that my jokes are copyrighted and may only be used following the payment of a large fee.
Please share a Christmas cracker joke you recall or better still - make one up! Note that they must be clean without lewd reference to snowballs, stuffing or Santa's sack.
from Yorkshire Pudding https://ift.tt/GY7ie5j
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