Only 128 pages in length, the first thirty two pages address "ladies" and the following ninety six pages address "gentlemen". There are sections that advise on manners to be shown at ballroom or dinner events, travelling on trains, "Street Salutations", "Morning Visits", relationships between the sexes and even how to carve a range of meats including a calf's head. Although the author is unknown, he was clearly a zealous man on a mission.
Being a rough, unpolished kind of fellow, I desperately needed guidance about etiquette ahead of my wedding speech. After all, I wanted to make a good impression upon Shirley's extended family. The little book provided me with useful directions and I even quoted directly from a chapter titled, "Domestic Etiquette". Here's a taste of it:-
"It is and ought to be the anxious wish and study of every wife to render her husband's home agreeable and happy; let her always consider this her first and paramount duty every time she beholds her wedding-ring, remember she has sworn on holy ground to "love, honour and obey," and let her regulate her conduct accordingly.
Never let your husband have just cause to complain that you are more frequently abroad than at home, or that you keep your smiles for company and your frowns for him; many a marriage has been rendered unhappy by such conduct...
...Never pry into your husband's secrets, if he has any; if he seems a little out of the way, do not annoy him by asking questions, be sure, if it is necessary you should know, he will tell you."
Throughout the book, women (i.e. ladies) are referred to either as subservient appendages to the more important lives of menfolk or as dainty goddesses to be cherished and treated with enormous respect but not really listened to.
Needless to say, there is no reference to homosexuality in "Etiquette - On The Perfect Lady and Gentleman" and come to think of it there isn't even any reference to rearing children or relationships with servants. I was also looking for guidance on riding horses or riding in horse-drawn carriages but there was none.
I think the book proves that in some ways life has changed for the better in the last 160 years - especially with regard to the place of women in British society. Now we know that there is no such thing as a "perfect lady" just as the idea of a "perfect gentleman" is quite absurd.
from Yorkshire Pudding https://ift.tt/ejrfGdF
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