Mr Poznán caught me watering the Women Institute’s flower bed at half past seven. I had already checked on the village green beds but all those had been watered by one of the wardens.
I was hot and sweaty and I joked that the exercise would burn more fat off me
Mr Poznań looked serious and told me not to be so hard on myself , he had already noticed that I’d lost nearly a stone and a half.
“ I’ve noticed that You have a habit of dumbing yourself down “ he said kindly “ you don’t have to do that”
His smile was disarming and I found myself suddenly a bit emotional.
He patted me on the shoulder as a goodbye. “ You need a man friend “ he told me looking at the watering can
I have a habit of indulging in self depreciating humour.
Of course it’s a defence mechanism…and as I watered the plants I reminded myself of the lesbian comic Hannah Gadsby who once specialised her act at one time with self put downs
She described what she felt about thus
“ I have built a career out of self-deprecating humor and I don’t want to do that anymore. Do you understand what self-deprecation means when it come from somebody who already exists in the margins? It’s not humility, it's humiliation. I put myself down in order to speak, in order to seek permission to speak“
There is a resonance in her words
from Going Gently https://ift.tt/3imPCAG
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