Five days to go
And I’ve morphed into a cross between Bridget Jones and a sweaty wombat
A wombat with a five day old T shirt on.
It’s not a pretty sight.
I FaceTimed a friend yesterday who asked me when I had eaten avocados
That was 2 days previously.
If I put the t shirt in hot water, I’d make soup!
It’s time to get a grip
I need a bath, a shave and a change of clothes
I did wash the pots this morning, only because I had run out of spoons
But the only person I’ve seen today is the postman
He’s the cheerful one that either calls me “ Bud “ or “ John” depending on his mood
Today he asked me if I was ill
“Track and Trace “ I told him in way of explanation
He looked at my odd socks, grey tracksuit bottoms ( the ones with the paint stains) and nodded Sympathetically
“I ve seen a few of you the last few weeks” he said
“ Some people never get out of their pyjamas “
I’m didn’t tell him I don’t own pyjamas
I had a pot noodle for breakfast, I found it at the back of the cupboard next to my emergency flour reserves.
The jigsaw still lies half finished on the kitchen table and I’ve only just finished the Julie Walters autobiography
My friend David told me that I had let myself go yesterday when we talked on zoom.
You look like Joan Crawford in Baby Jane” he confided and when I admitted at not brushing my teeth for two days concluded that I was a very poor example of a homosexual male and that I should be ashamed of myself
I flipped him the finger and had another coconut macaroon, the last of the ones Hattie Delivered the other day...
I decided to get a “ruddy grip Ruby” and thought to myself what Thora Hird would have done at this moment of personal crisis
Yes, she would have had a strip wash at the sink, spat and cleaned her glasses and put on a fresh pair of pants, there was no space for slatterns in Thora’s world.
So....I ve ran a bath and filled it with some Imperial leather Polynesian Moonlight bubble bath
The T shirt has been discarded into a very large pile of To do washing
And Dorothy’s skid mark has been buffed from the corner of the duvet
Well I hope it was Dorothy’s
from Going Gently https://ift.tt/3ehywSb
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