R's rue

fly

Leap

Fly

Soar

Before

The questions come

And fear becomes

Your default

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This afternoon, Shirley and I took Little Phoebe to the Odeon Luxe cinema in the centre of the city. We were there to attend the 12pm screening of "Moana 2". This popular animated film has just about reached the end of its tether on the cinema circuit and that's the main reason why today's audience comprised of just the three of us. We had the best seats in the very centre of the auditorium.

The sound system was so thunderous that Phoebe covered up her ears during the ad and preview section. She doesn't like loud noise and at just four years and one day old, she does not fake this distaste. Shirley asked the cinema staff to turn it down a notch or two and they kindly complied.

If as an adult you do not have much contact with small children, you are probably mystified by the very mention of Moana. She is a Disney figure who starred in the first film that bears her name in 2022. We watched that one down at Ian's house in Fulham, London that Christmastime. It was spectacular and yet very human too. I loved the way that references to genuine Polynesian life and history had been woven in to the fabric of the film. We all enjoyed it.

Moana lives on the fictional Pacific island of Motunui. She is the daughter of Tui, the island's chief. Ultimately it falls upon her to fight for the island's future in a battle between the ancient forces of good and evil. It's roughly the same theme in "Moana 2". Of course it is of some socio-cultural significance that Moana is female and pretty tough.

In both films we meet the huge shape-shifting tattooed figure of the demigod Maui whose streetwise voice is that of Dwayne Johnson. He befriends Moana and acts as her champion.

"Moana" and "Moana 2" are visual masterpieces that demonstrate how far Disney animation has come. Both films contain strong musical elements and songs. It is easy to lose yourself in them - especially on a big screen.

As Christmas had just passed by, we were a little stuck when thinking about gifts to buy Phoebe. You might be interested to learn that all four gifts were "Moana 2" branded - a jigsaw, a singalong microphone, a Moana doll and Moana 2 shower gel. I am not proud to admit this but that's how it was.

When we emerged from the dark cinema, Sheffield was bathed in golden light - the glare so sharp that you had to shield your eyes. Phoebe refused to put her coat on because, bizarrely, after the recent wintry weather, it was now as if summer had arrived early. Perhaps Moana and Maui the demigod had had a hand in that.

Maui in "Moana 2"

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smile

Grateful for unexplained joy

Grateful for life giving breath

Grateful for a new journal

The television is on. Talking heads are arguing. And yet I’m singing. My joy isn’t dependent on external forces. Fix my eyes on You. Keep loving the people who come in contact with you daily. Your ministry is your smile. My eyes speak more than my lips ever could.

Love yourself and one another

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Poem

Vestiges

It was the last of it -

Trailed alongside rough stone walls

Or under trees where shadows stick -

Slumped snowmen or heaps by driveways

This hidden world turned green again.

But in the solitude of altitude

Still whiteness still upon the moors

Wadding treacherous hollows.

Up there, I found a ewe once -

Suffocated by a drift and stiff

Above Eyam -

The lamb inside her frozen

And nothing left to do.

Oh where shall we go

Now May’s already calling?

This life is but a passing show

Where once white snow was falling.

And all that remains is lost.

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lovely blessing

Surrender

Something

So hard to do

Is bringing peace

To a place

Marred by

Darkness

And despair

Loving others

Is helping

Love myself

A blessing

I can’t overstate

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cold hard truths

In the midst of sorrow and pain, you can despair or you can rise. In the past few days, I’ve been very intentional. What are my eyes seeing, what am I listening to, what am I consuming. Recently, I’m having to be reminded that eccentricity is not a bad thing. I’m an old soul. I’m refraining from the gossip rags, the celebrity idolization, and focusing on how to be a better human being. God’s in the conviction business.

I’m taking care of my mind and body. I’ve long abandoned it, but I can’t any longer. I took a slow thirty minute walk on the treadmill. In the past I would focus on how slow I was, but for my body to walk on a treadmill at 41 is a miracle. I remember being a child trying to walk on it, and I couldn’t physically or mentally. I’ve probably told this story, but it bears repeating, if only for my hard headed self. Progress happens even if it took forever.

Medically, it’s a miracle I’m as ambulatory as I am. God has been good to me. More than good. I need to write this down for the days that aren’t great. I’m fully cognizant of that fact. My body will not always have good days. I relish them right now. I’m grateful for each one. I’m having to realize that when I wrote all my goals down in a journal years ago, only two haven’t been answered. Two. That means God’s batting average is pretty darn good. I won’t sugarcoat, and tell you I’ve haven’t been humbled.

God does that too. Right now, in helping others, I’m helping myself. I’m finding my purpose. My joy. When I told you I didn’t serve man, I meant it. I’m not going to be a keyboard warrior, or tell you you’re a horrible human being. I’m letting God do His job. I’m too mentally tired to police the world. I’m praying, and let God lead me. Every time I feel inadequate, God says the world doesn’t need your dollars, it needs your heart. It needs your light.

A light you dimmed. Dimmed because the world didn’t understand you. A world that will never give you what you need, but a world that needs you. More than you want to admit or finally accept. You don’t need the world, Regine, but it needs you. Love the people in the world, but don’t lose yourself in it. Trying to fit in. You never have. You never will.

It’s okay. It’s more than okay. The girl who still chooses old classics over new hits. The girl who would rather watch ballet over breakdancing. Give me comfort over conformity. Give me the food that evokes a memory not fancy deconstruction. Odd end in a new world. I want the truth. Not a made up mystery.

I was reminded of something. I will always care. I always have. Always will. It’s who I am. I don’t need applause even though in my humanness I crave it. My desire for it is being dealt with every day.

I don’t know my point. Or if I’m trying to make one.

Live and let live

For the author

Makes His judgements

Not I

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Gripping

"The movie of the rescue was made by Ron Howard and is really sensitively made. Worth a watch if any of your readers haven't seen it. Unsworth deserves his MBE and more - the eternal gratitude of everyone who watched with bated breath for news of that rescue attempt." - Tigger's Mum

It may seem astonishing to some "Yorkshire Pudding" visitors but occasionally my blogposts are underpinned by online research.

See Tigger's Mum's comment above. I already knew about that film. It is called "Thirteen Lives" and I watched it this very evening. It is almost 2hrs and 30 mins long. We have access to Amazon Prime TV and I found the film there.

It makes no reference to the fellow that Bob in Camden, South Carolina has renamed Leon Skum. He didn't even get to be a footnote which was fine by me. Even Vernon Unsworth's role in the film is pretty small but he was the one who effectively made the rescue happen by urging the Thai authorities to fly in a group of experienced British cave divers.

The Thai Navy divers had been trained in sea diving. Obviously, wriggling through complicated pot hole systems is an entirely different proposition.

The cultural context of the drama took me back to my own time in Thailand. Effectively, I spent a total of eleven months living and working over there. With that experience in mind, I thought the film's Thai background was pretty authentic.

"Thirteen Lives" was in the end a feelgood film about human kindness, bravery and ingenuity - fighting to get those twelve boys and their young football coach out of the Tham Luang cave network before heavy monsoon rains made any prospect of rescue utterly impossible

Of course the ending is utterly joyous even though one of the Thai divers lost his life down there.

It was great to watch a film that did not involve guns, murders, detectives or police enquiries. I was gripped by it. Perhaps you would enjoy it too if you can also access Amazon Prime.

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